So my best friend has pointed out something important,
Its like, October, November, December, Wedding!
I then realized maybe I should up the planning a little, I don’t think that I realized I am getting married yet. Think it has something to do with not having a dress or anything…….or having seen a simple table setting as yet.
The weird thing is that it feels like some sort of game, but next thing I know I will be married and will have to travel a long way to work everyday since I am being exiled to Indian Community that is my point of origin.
Ok, its not an exile really, but in my plight to be compromising and adjusting to this whole Indian Diplomacy thing, I have agreed to stay in that damned place while we find a house to buy.
So this may be the source of my “Ostrich with its head in the sand” scenario. Maybe I don’t want to face the thought of leaving my comfy little invisible life in the suburbs, where I merrily go along doing as I please, and can reach any social gathering point in about 20 minutes.
Now I need to re-adjust to traveling like 45 mins to anywhere interesting.
I think its time to equip myself for battle with the invasive aunties and gossip mongers and general stupidity. Oh how I shall miss those that know who the Sectary General of the UN is!
While I know its temporary, its still a huge challenge for me.
So now that I am accepting my fate, I am also realizing that I seriously need to get started on the planning.
To a certain degree this anxiety over the exile is making the excitement factor lessen considerably, because final destination is a fearful one.
Oh the joy of being apart of the strangest community on earth! It’s all about other people at the end of it!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Gold
My mum and dad are in India and then off to Dubai to do some shopping for the wedding, and while searching for a supplier to do the wedding invitations, they discover the root of the Midas Touch Syndrome.
You see the stereotypical Indian has a problem, they obsessed with Gold. Like every event, outfit or piece of jewellery that they touch, turns to Gold.
I think it’s the reason I stay clear of Gold, especially really yellow Gold.
So mum and dad in their plight to find white and silver invites discover that they don’t really have stuff with silver in it.
In fact when requesting silver, they received baffled looks and get told, there is lots of Gold paired with any colour you can imagine! The store owner cannot understand why anyone would not want Gold on their invites.
And so when going back to your roots, you discover that culture doesn’t die, even when you move to Africa.
You see the stereotypical Indian has a problem, they obsessed with Gold. Like every event, outfit or piece of jewellery that they touch, turns to Gold.
I think it’s the reason I stay clear of Gold, especially really yellow Gold.
So mum and dad in their plight to find white and silver invites discover that they don’t really have stuff with silver in it.
In fact when requesting silver, they received baffled looks and get told, there is lots of Gold paired with any colour you can imagine! The store owner cannot understand why anyone would not want Gold on their invites.
And so when going back to your roots, you discover that culture doesn’t die, even when you move to Africa.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Alien Invasion
So apparently the Indian community has a way to go in the evolution of broader thinking.
There is a new question that my mother gets asked recently:
Is your daughter going to work after she gets married?
My mum usually looks at them strangely and replies: yeeesss……
I am unsure what this is all about, but my assumptions are
1. Careers are something that you do to keep busy while looking for a husband
2. Careers are a good way to find a husband
3. Marriage is a career change
4. When married your career is no longer important
It really makes me soooo angry. Like so angry I want to shake them and ask them if they are aware of what century we live in
I hate that people don’t take my career or me seriously. I know that whether we buy a house or a car or anything, they will congratulate the guy on it. It is unfair because the working wife played a role in getting it.
I really want to go back to hiding under my rock, being that girl that they use to pity because I didn’t have a husband and kids. They could keep their stretchmarks thank you!
Now they trying to make me one of them! Like an creepy alien movie where they take over your mind!
I would rather saw off my left arm with a plastic teaspoon than become some complacent female.
Girl Power all the way! Till I croak actually!
There is a new question that my mother gets asked recently:
Is your daughter going to work after she gets married?
My mum usually looks at them strangely and replies: yeeesss……
I am unsure what this is all about, but my assumptions are
1. Careers are something that you do to keep busy while looking for a husband
2. Careers are a good way to find a husband
3. Marriage is a career change
4. When married your career is no longer important
It really makes me soooo angry. Like so angry I want to shake them and ask them if they are aware of what century we live in
I hate that people don’t take my career or me seriously. I know that whether we buy a house or a car or anything, they will congratulate the guy on it. It is unfair because the working wife played a role in getting it.
I really want to go back to hiding under my rock, being that girl that they use to pity because I didn’t have a husband and kids. They could keep their stretchmarks thank you!
Now they trying to make me one of them! Like an creepy alien movie where they take over your mind!
I would rather saw off my left arm with a plastic teaspoon than become some complacent female.
Girl Power all the way! Till I croak actually!
Bunnies on a Pole
The last few weeks have not been all doom and gloom
It was my Fiancé’s birthday and I tried to create some romance is our relationship since life has become dull between the fasting, work and my wedding.
I also had my bridal shower, which seriously rocked. It was all a girl could ask for, and I wanted to do it again the next day. I also received about a zillion gifts!
The theme was the Girls of the Playboy mansion and they given Boa Feathers & Bunny ears and all I saw was pink and black, add fishnets and short skirts and push up bra's. It was a sight!
The pole dancing and lap dancing lessons were really a hit with the girls that attended and everyone was keen on playing along.
I could not thank my mum enough for it.
The funny thing was that we were meant to do a girls thing after, and after much change of plan, I landed up having drinks with my two oldest friends. It was totally like coming full circle
Ten years ago we finished school, and now here we are, all grown up, and me getting married.
My one friend and I had drifted apart the last few years and there was some tension there.
Then my dad said to me recently that its time to make peace, so I did and I am glad she is back in my life.
Its strange, even though we had a tiff and were not really speaking, not even on Facebook, its like that drinks event was completely natural.
There were some tears at the bridal shower when I had to light everyone’s candles and they had to give me a message. She was all super emotional and so were most of my friends. It was really bittersweet.
I am so blessed to have so many people that care about me
It was my Fiancé’s birthday and I tried to create some romance is our relationship since life has become dull between the fasting, work and my wedding.
I also had my bridal shower, which seriously rocked. It was all a girl could ask for, and I wanted to do it again the next day. I also received about a zillion gifts!
The theme was the Girls of the Playboy mansion and they given Boa Feathers & Bunny ears and all I saw was pink and black, add fishnets and short skirts and push up bra's. It was a sight!
The pole dancing and lap dancing lessons were really a hit with the girls that attended and everyone was keen on playing along.
I could not thank my mum enough for it.
The funny thing was that we were meant to do a girls thing after, and after much change of plan, I landed up having drinks with my two oldest friends. It was totally like coming full circle
Ten years ago we finished school, and now here we are, all grown up, and me getting married.
My one friend and I had drifted apart the last few years and there was some tension there.
Then my dad said to me recently that its time to make peace, so I did and I am glad she is back in my life.
Its strange, even though we had a tiff and were not really speaking, not even on Facebook, its like that drinks event was completely natural.
There were some tears at the bridal shower when I had to light everyone’s candles and they had to give me a message. She was all super emotional and so were most of my friends. It was really bittersweet.
I am so blessed to have so many people that care about me
Censor yourself for the sake of peace
I really suck at censoring myself,
I am so brutally honest that some people are actually taken aback by it.
My best friend loves me for it, because she says that while other people tell you what they think you want to hear, but I always tell her the truth.
I am generally really transparent, take it or leave it. I cannot spend my life being something I am not.
Writing is my outlet. I can express myself better through writing than talking.
The worst thing that could happen to me was not being able to write anymore.
I have been really struggling lately because sometimes honesty is not something that people can deal with.
I can’t say it and I can’t write about it.
I am bordering on loosing my mind.
It seems I have entered into the land of diplomacy.
Man do I hate Indians sometimes, they all about not “disappointing” people or “upsetting” people.
All I have to say to that is that people should not have expectations in the first bloody place. Like stop basing your happiness on other people’s actions. How about just stepping back and letting people be happy?
My parents have done me a disfavor in some ways. They always ask us what we want first before they consider others. They are not into the pleasing people thing. Well sometimes my dad stops us from taking it too far because he reminds us that people will not understand our actions.
My mum did not invite her uncle to my wedding because both he and his wife are embarrassing and have no class at all. My mum said she just can’t deal with them, and they don’t factor into her life anyway.
I am not kidding ,this woman takes biscuits and fruit and other stuff at weddings and hides it in her bag, She also tells the longest most disjointed stories you have ever heard. She also once took an entire centerpiece off a table at a wedding and someone to run after her to get it back.
That is how little they care about what people think. The problem with this is that you forget that not everyone is like you.
So my life is starting to seem a bit like the twilight zone, with theme song and all.
I am stuck swallowing my emotions and biting my tongue and watching people make the strangest decisions that make no sense to me. And I am just going with it because what I do know is that while I have no control over what other people do, I do have control over how I act and what I feel.
If no one else is going to inject some normalcy into the situation I guess I will have to.
The worst part is that I am stuck between two different worlds and trying to make everyone happy, but its failing miserably. All I have is lots of tension and some bafflement from certain parties.
I just wish I could make everyone happy, but I know that is their job.
We all make choices and if we complain about our situation, we need to look at the choices that we are making. That is the best advice I can give. You are the master of your own life.
Whoever lied and said this is the happiest time of your life was not Indian, that’s a certainty.
I am so brutally honest that some people are actually taken aback by it.
My best friend loves me for it, because she says that while other people tell you what they think you want to hear, but I always tell her the truth.
I am generally really transparent, take it or leave it. I cannot spend my life being something I am not.
Writing is my outlet. I can express myself better through writing than talking.
The worst thing that could happen to me was not being able to write anymore.
I have been really struggling lately because sometimes honesty is not something that people can deal with.
I can’t say it and I can’t write about it.
I am bordering on loosing my mind.
It seems I have entered into the land of diplomacy.
Man do I hate Indians sometimes, they all about not “disappointing” people or “upsetting” people.
All I have to say to that is that people should not have expectations in the first bloody place. Like stop basing your happiness on other people’s actions. How about just stepping back and letting people be happy?
My parents have done me a disfavor in some ways. They always ask us what we want first before they consider others. They are not into the pleasing people thing. Well sometimes my dad stops us from taking it too far because he reminds us that people will not understand our actions.
My mum did not invite her uncle to my wedding because both he and his wife are embarrassing and have no class at all. My mum said she just can’t deal with them, and they don’t factor into her life anyway.
I am not kidding ,this woman takes biscuits and fruit and other stuff at weddings and hides it in her bag, She also tells the longest most disjointed stories you have ever heard. She also once took an entire centerpiece off a table at a wedding and someone to run after her to get it back.
That is how little they care about what people think. The problem with this is that you forget that not everyone is like you.
So my life is starting to seem a bit like the twilight zone, with theme song and all.
I am stuck swallowing my emotions and biting my tongue and watching people make the strangest decisions that make no sense to me. And I am just going with it because what I do know is that while I have no control over what other people do, I do have control over how I act and what I feel.
If no one else is going to inject some normalcy into the situation I guess I will have to.
The worst part is that I am stuck between two different worlds and trying to make everyone happy, but its failing miserably. All I have is lots of tension and some bafflement from certain parties.
I just wish I could make everyone happy, but I know that is their job.
We all make choices and if we complain about our situation, we need to look at the choices that we are making. That is the best advice I can give. You are the master of your own life.
Whoever lied and said this is the happiest time of your life was not Indian, that’s a certainty.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Zombie Girl Returns
So I am no longer a walking zombie
Eid has arrived and Ramadhaan is over. For those of you that do not know what Ramadhaan is, it is the holy month where all Muslim’s dry fast from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. Eid is the day that we celebrate the end of the fast by spending time with family and having a feast
It takes it toll, and I am back into my normal routine.
So this year Eid was an interesting experience, because it was my last fast with my family. It was very bittersweet.
Since there have been so many deaths this year, it is tradition for us to visit the funeral houses on Eid to pay your respects to the family. We were on our way to one such house when got stuck because a truck with a trailer that contained a small bull. I named him Patrick. Patrick was being dragged around by this truck with a smelly exhaust look really unhappy on his bumpy ride.
I got thinking while we drove very slowly behind poor Patrick the Bull. This is it for me, my life is about to change forever. I won’t be my daddy’s little girl every Eid and mess about with my brothers while getting done, and have my little bro in my room using the hair iron while we achieve awesome hairdo’s. Or my other brother coming to ask me if his jeans look ok with that shirt.
I will miss the banter. Patrick seemed to understand my pain because he was a baby bull being taken away from his parents and sent off to probably pro-create with some cow. So much pressure I tell you.
I am about to be a wife in 4 months. And I will not be able to hide behind my mum and dad anymore. And even when I do visit, it will not be my home any longer.
I will miss my family very much, but I am excited about being with my boo for a long time.
Patrick eventually took a turn, and we sped off to our destination, and my dad said something funny and I smiled because I knew that these moments were precious.
Eid has arrived and Ramadhaan is over. For those of you that do not know what Ramadhaan is, it is the holy month where all Muslim’s dry fast from sunrise to sunset for 30 days. Eid is the day that we celebrate the end of the fast by spending time with family and having a feast
It takes it toll, and I am back into my normal routine.
So this year Eid was an interesting experience, because it was my last fast with my family. It was very bittersweet.
Since there have been so many deaths this year, it is tradition for us to visit the funeral houses on Eid to pay your respects to the family. We were on our way to one such house when got stuck because a truck with a trailer that contained a small bull. I named him Patrick. Patrick was being dragged around by this truck with a smelly exhaust look really unhappy on his bumpy ride.
I got thinking while we drove very slowly behind poor Patrick the Bull. This is it for me, my life is about to change forever. I won’t be my daddy’s little girl every Eid and mess about with my brothers while getting done, and have my little bro in my room using the hair iron while we achieve awesome hairdo’s. Or my other brother coming to ask me if his jeans look ok with that shirt.
I will miss the banter. Patrick seemed to understand my pain because he was a baby bull being taken away from his parents and sent off to probably pro-create with some cow. So much pressure I tell you.
I am about to be a wife in 4 months. And I will not be able to hide behind my mum and dad anymore. And even when I do visit, it will not be my home any longer.
I will miss my family very much, but I am excited about being with my boo for a long time.
Patrick eventually took a turn, and we sped off to our destination, and my dad said something funny and I smiled because I knew that these moments were precious.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A Charmed Life
This has to be the strangest year of my life,
I started this blog believing I could fill it with adventures that involve Indian weddings, but somehow life has been an unexpected journey involving a lot of lessons.
Mostly I am faced with funerals and people in hospital. I mean its endless!
Just yesterday a family member passed from some freak twist of faith, she was coughing and the next thing, they found her dead in bed.
On the way back from the funeral another group of family members met up in a car accident and 1 person passed and two are in hospital.
I am not making this up….
It is like maybe there is a lesson in this for all of us, life is unpredicatable and maybe we think we have it figured it out and know what its going to be like in the next ten minutes and suddenly everything changes.
This brings me to thinking about marriage.
Marriage is a life long commitment. Or least a commitment for part of your life.
We get caught up in what I call “Caption this Photo”
This is when you look at a couple and try and label their relationship and this is why so many woman are obsessed with how you look with your partner
Granted, some couples are very oddly matched, but usually they the happiest and that got me thinking that maybe it’s because they stopped giving a damn, because life is way too short.
Everyone has an opinion about Everything, but it is only your opinion that matters.
I use to fantasize in my younger days of a tall, muscular guy who wrote poetry and was all rebellious. And the Universe answered my call and gave me said guy and threw in a bike and earring just to make the deal sweeter. He was also smart and ambitious and I was gaga.
Until one day he went crazy from taking drugs and tried to ruin my life
I am not making this up either.
I have lived a charmed life!
I ask myself why did I want Biker Boy? And it’s because I wanted to be cool by association.
It led me nowhere.
Marriage is a life long commitment as I have said, and it basically means that you have to be very mature in your decision.
Yes , I am one of those: “It just felt right people”. But it felt right because I knew myself and therefore knew what was good for me, and could spot it when it came.
Growing up has been fun, and growing old will be better, but if I am like all these people that dies suddenly, I want to know that I followed my opinion and not other people’s opinions.
I started this blog believing I could fill it with adventures that involve Indian weddings, but somehow life has been an unexpected journey involving a lot of lessons.
Mostly I am faced with funerals and people in hospital. I mean its endless!
Just yesterday a family member passed from some freak twist of faith, she was coughing and the next thing, they found her dead in bed.
On the way back from the funeral another group of family members met up in a car accident and 1 person passed and two are in hospital.
I am not making this up….
It is like maybe there is a lesson in this for all of us, life is unpredicatable and maybe we think we have it figured it out and know what its going to be like in the next ten minutes and suddenly everything changes.
This brings me to thinking about marriage.
Marriage is a life long commitment. Or least a commitment for part of your life.
We get caught up in what I call “Caption this Photo”
This is when you look at a couple and try and label their relationship and this is why so many woman are obsessed with how you look with your partner
Granted, some couples are very oddly matched, but usually they the happiest and that got me thinking that maybe it’s because they stopped giving a damn, because life is way too short.
Everyone has an opinion about Everything, but it is only your opinion that matters.
I use to fantasize in my younger days of a tall, muscular guy who wrote poetry and was all rebellious. And the Universe answered my call and gave me said guy and threw in a bike and earring just to make the deal sweeter. He was also smart and ambitious and I was gaga.
Until one day he went crazy from taking drugs and tried to ruin my life
I am not making this up either.
I have lived a charmed life!
I ask myself why did I want Biker Boy? And it’s because I wanted to be cool by association.
It led me nowhere.
Marriage is a life long commitment as I have said, and it basically means that you have to be very mature in your decision.
Yes , I am one of those: “It just felt right people”. But it felt right because I knew myself and therefore knew what was good for me, and could spot it when it came.
Growing up has been fun, and growing old will be better, but if I am like all these people that dies suddenly, I want to know that I followed my opinion and not other people’s opinions.
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