Fear? ...............What Exactly??

While I may comment on the bizarre and entertaining aspects of my culture and religion, I have to say that there are certain things that are actually pretty awesome.

The week before my engagement people kept asking me if I was nervous. And I kept saying I was fine.

But the more people asked, the more I kept expecting that this nervous feeling should spring up at any point.

By the time the engagement arrived I was sitting around waiting for it to arrive, but nothing happened.

I prodded different emotions and thoughts trying to get this feeling going, but nothing was happening.

I began feeling like an emotionless freak!

Where were my nerves? Everyone else has nerves!!! I want my nerves dammit! I deserve nerves like everyone else!

I guess it was a case of wanting everything to feel exactly the way people say its going to be.

But that is the thing I has realized about life, things never feel the way it did for anyone else. Every experience is unique.

So I arrive at the engagement and its all delayed and stuff – that is a whole other story. This meant I had to chill at my cousins house till I got the green light. At this point I thought: “oooh, maybe now the nerves and excitement will kick in”

Nothing

I am an alien. I knew it all along. Any minute now my real race will come down in a zen like space ship and take me back to planet “Unruffled”. We will do yoga all day and spend hours meditating. Or maybe they just a bunch of stoners on this planet....

Anyway.........

I was worried. Why was I so calm????????

I got bored of worrying eventually and checked my awesome make up and hair and fluffed my beautiful designer dress. My picture got taken, I posed and had a merry old time.

Finally I arrive, and I am seated on this cool white couch awaiting the arrival of Lemon Sorbet aka My Fiancé.

When I saw him walk in I figured out why I was so calm.

I had nothing to fear. Because I knew he was the one, no doubts, no second guesses.

And part of the reason I had no doubts was because of this event itself.

He was going to put a ring on my finger in front of everyone that meant something to us.

I don’t have to fear he would leave or that it was hoax. I had nothing to fear because he was an honorable man, who is brave enough to say “She is the one” in front of our community, friends and gossip mongers.

He was real. This was real. And I could trust him.

While the one knee and ring scenario is very romantic, this to me; was more romantic.

It was like he had nothing to hide, no deceit, and all his love to share.

Tradition can be so tear jerking sometimes