Some days things just don’t seem funny,
In fact the whole world looks pretty damn bleak.
Today is one of those days…………
I have learnt about the politics of planning a wedding.
It’s like somehow the wedding stops being about you and starts being about everyone else.
I had kind of lost my excitement through the constant tension that seems to surround it
My Fiancé was mugged and shot a few years ago and he said that the greatest lesson that he learnt from life was that it was only in times of need that you realize who your true friends are.
I usually refer to this as God weeding your life. And I must say that my garden is looking pretty bare. All the plants that I once thought were beautiful are actually just poisonous, strangling and soul destroying weeds.
On the bright side there are those genuine, rare and breathtaking flowers that fill my heart with glee whenever I look at them. And the best part of clearing the junk is that you see them more clearly.
We often focus on all the negative, and let it control our lives. That means that you never really experience the good that is happening right now.
Ok, I am done being all soppy and philosophical, but do take my advice and give the weeds the middle finger and add some profanity in for good measure.
I am only getting married once (Well at least to this guy). So it is crucial to enjoy and savor every minute!
Showing posts with label Married. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Married. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
The Announcement
I always pictured my life a little differently when all this would happen,
But I think that is because I watch way too much TV, you know where you announce that you are getting married and everyone gets all excited and tells you how amazing it is.
The reaction that I received was slightly different. My friends were naturally happy for me, I guess because they know me,
My work colleagues kind of upset me the most, because I got one of three reactions:
1 - Is the guy rich?
2 - Is it an arranged marriage?
3 - Are you pregnant?
Granted, I had never mentioned said guy before to anyone, but that is because I decided to keep my private life private. And what's wrong with that? I mean how many people are actually friends with the people that they work with?
But it was the comments that led me to wonder what their assumptions were of me, my family and my community.
So I was a materialistic female from a supressed background with whore like tendencies.......I was kind of hurt.I mean, I didnt even get a congrats from most of them.
I realised that regardless of the fact that I was from a open minded family and that I had gone to a good school and a had a University degree, dress like them, talk like them, and go to the same places that they do. I was not one of them.
By them I mean - Not Indian and definately Not Muslim,
Regardless of who I was, suddenly people were asking if I was going to change the way I dress and whether I would carry on working, once I was married.
I was trying to figure it out in my head? Why would you assume I would be any different?
Why was being a certain religion and culture so bad? I mean, my parents are normal people. They just follow a belief, like everyone else.
I am not gonna suddenly wear a veil over my face and sit at home and pop out kids! I was still going to become an award winning director and win an oscar one day!
What upset me even more was the assumption about my future husband. I mean, they judge him without knowing him. Poor guy. He loves how I dress and he supports my career 100%. We just two kids who fell in love.
On the other side of the fence I had the family.
Oh yes, that was another expereince all together
Reactions were:
1 - Finally!
2- So nice, I knew she would find someone eventually
3 - See! Every pot has its lid
4 - We use to pray for her, we so happy she finally found someone
I was all like: so there was something wrong with me all this time? Who knew??
It was as if I had finally achieved something in my life.
No one reacted this way when I graduated? Or when my first show went on air? Or when I got promoted?
It was like I was finally ok.
As I said previously. Cold water. Ice Cold water poured all over me,
I can see the world as it is and its very sad,
Why all this fixation on marriage as some sort of major life changing event?
I thought it was a union of two people that loved each other, saying: "We in this for the long haul"
And so I realised, that I had many challenges ahead of me
But I think that is because I watch way too much TV, you know where you announce that you are getting married and everyone gets all excited and tells you how amazing it is.
The reaction that I received was slightly different. My friends were naturally happy for me, I guess because they know me,
My work colleagues kind of upset me the most, because I got one of three reactions:
1 - Is the guy rich?
2 - Is it an arranged marriage?
3 - Are you pregnant?
Granted, I had never mentioned said guy before to anyone, but that is because I decided to keep my private life private. And what's wrong with that? I mean how many people are actually friends with the people that they work with?
But it was the comments that led me to wonder what their assumptions were of me, my family and my community.
So I was a materialistic female from a supressed background with whore like tendencies.......I was kind of hurt.I mean, I didnt even get a congrats from most of them.
I realised that regardless of the fact that I was from a open minded family and that I had gone to a good school and a had a University degree, dress like them, talk like them, and go to the same places that they do. I was not one of them.
By them I mean - Not Indian and definately Not Muslim,
Regardless of who I was, suddenly people were asking if I was going to change the way I dress and whether I would carry on working, once I was married.
I was trying to figure it out in my head? Why would you assume I would be any different?
Why was being a certain religion and culture so bad? I mean, my parents are normal people. They just follow a belief, like everyone else.
I am not gonna suddenly wear a veil over my face and sit at home and pop out kids! I was still going to become an award winning director and win an oscar one day!
What upset me even more was the assumption about my future husband. I mean, they judge him without knowing him. Poor guy. He loves how I dress and he supports my career 100%. We just two kids who fell in love.
On the other side of the fence I had the family.
Oh yes, that was another expereince all together
Reactions were:
1 - Finally!
2- So nice, I knew she would find someone eventually
3 - See! Every pot has its lid
4 - We use to pray for her, we so happy she finally found someone
I was all like: so there was something wrong with me all this time? Who knew??
It was as if I had finally achieved something in my life.
No one reacted this way when I graduated? Or when my first show went on air? Or when I got promoted?
It was like I was finally ok.
As I said previously. Cold water. Ice Cold water poured all over me,
I can see the world as it is and its very sad,
Why all this fixation on marriage as some sort of major life changing event?
I thought it was a union of two people that loved each other, saying: "We in this for the long haul"
And so I realised, that I had many challenges ahead of me
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