Some days things just don’t seem funny,
In fact the whole world looks pretty damn bleak.
Today is one of those days…………
I have learnt about the politics of planning a wedding.
It’s like somehow the wedding stops being about you and starts being about everyone else.
I had kind of lost my excitement through the constant tension that seems to surround it
My Fiancé was mugged and shot a few years ago and he said that the greatest lesson that he learnt from life was that it was only in times of need that you realize who your true friends are.
I usually refer to this as God weeding your life. And I must say that my garden is looking pretty bare. All the plants that I once thought were beautiful are actually just poisonous, strangling and soul destroying weeds.
On the bright side there are those genuine, rare and breathtaking flowers that fill my heart with glee whenever I look at them. And the best part of clearing the junk is that you see them more clearly.
We often focus on all the negative, and let it control our lives. That means that you never really experience the good that is happening right now.
Ok, I am done being all soppy and philosophical, but do take my advice and give the weeds the middle finger and add some profanity in for good measure.
I am only getting married once (Well at least to this guy). So it is crucial to enjoy and savor every minute!
Showing posts with label Wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wedding. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Queen Bee
My mother has become a kind of Queen Bee.
You see whenever she attends any family event, all the other women buzz around her now and ask her questions about how the wedding planning is going.
These events include funerals. Yes. Funerals…….
Funerals are like any other Indian event for those that are not grieving or sincere, because you still adhere to the following rules:
1. You show up – because if you don’t you become a subject in the gossip circles for not being there when the family needs you
2. You wear the latest fashion – the Islamic cloaks come with a variety of embroided and beaded patterns these days.
3. You make sure everyone hears about your husband and children’s latest successes. Good PR is always important
4. You get the dirt on others
5. Express sympathy for the poor grieving family and discuss how they going to cope and relay details of the death to everyone that arrives. Do this with your best hushed voice to seem very torn up about it. Throw in a story about you and the dead person.
These rules only apply to those that are not actually particularly sad that the person died because they hardly know them anyway.
So yes, even at a funeral, people ask my mother about how the plans are going for the wedding.
In Indian standards she now holds a high seat in the hive.
I have brought home the honey and she is now a successful member of society.
My Fiancé isn’t really like honey though, I would say he more lemon sorbet. Sweet with a hint of sharp tang, yet refreshing and addictive.
Just like I like them, just enough bad boy so that I don’t develop an acute case of narcolepsy.
My mum is bit of a reject, because she doesn’t follow the rules very well. Except the fashion part. But then she is always fab, so it’s just natural for her to be up to date.
However times have changed, suddenly everyone has something to talk to her about. So they can squeeze all the details out of her.
It seems that weddings in Indianville is the height of social acceptance.
I am not sure my mum likes being a queen bee, she prefers peace and quiet. So the buzzing tends to get on her nerves.
You see whenever she attends any family event, all the other women buzz around her now and ask her questions about how the wedding planning is going.
These events include funerals. Yes. Funerals…….
Funerals are like any other Indian event for those that are not grieving or sincere, because you still adhere to the following rules:
1. You show up – because if you don’t you become a subject in the gossip circles for not being there when the family needs you
2. You wear the latest fashion – the Islamic cloaks come with a variety of embroided and beaded patterns these days.
3. You make sure everyone hears about your husband and children’s latest successes. Good PR is always important
4. You get the dirt on others
5. Express sympathy for the poor grieving family and discuss how they going to cope and relay details of the death to everyone that arrives. Do this with your best hushed voice to seem very torn up about it. Throw in a story about you and the dead person.
These rules only apply to those that are not actually particularly sad that the person died because they hardly know them anyway.
So yes, even at a funeral, people ask my mother about how the plans are going for the wedding.
In Indian standards she now holds a high seat in the hive.
I have brought home the honey and she is now a successful member of society.
My Fiancé isn’t really like honey though, I would say he more lemon sorbet. Sweet with a hint of sharp tang, yet refreshing and addictive.
Just like I like them, just enough bad boy so that I don’t develop an acute case of narcolepsy.
My mum is bit of a reject, because she doesn’t follow the rules very well. Except the fashion part. But then she is always fab, so it’s just natural for her to be up to date.
However times have changed, suddenly everyone has something to talk to her about. So they can squeeze all the details out of her.
It seems that weddings in Indianville is the height of social acceptance.
I am not sure my mum likes being a queen bee, she prefers peace and quiet. So the buzzing tends to get on her nerves.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Acceptance
I am bad at finishing what I start,
So regardless of how tired I am today, I am going to tell you a funny story of some sort
Since the reason that I am tired is because the 2010 World Cup has arrived and I work in the TV industry, and seems that everyone needs a video of some sort.
I therefore figured that I should talk to you about attracting what you wish for.
When we first heard that the World Cup was coming to South Africa. I told one of my colleagues that in 2010 I was going to get an engaged to a soccer player.
I had someone like Fernando Torres in mind you know, like most woman.
Funny Enough I did get engaged in 2010. And my Fiancé plays soccer but he is not famous.
In the same way, I am attracting all the things that I wanted, but not in the way that I imagined.
I am getting married to a great guy that accepts me for who I am. We have understanding and respect. And we have fun together.
We will have a beautiful wedding and a beautiful life,
But I really did not bank on all the issues that would come up along the way.
Like the fact that I will always be referred to as his wife. Example, X’s wife works as a Lawyer/Accountant/Teacher
Once you married its like you lost your identity. You no longer have a name
Well to the Indians anyway.
And if you buy a house, it will be X has bought a house. No mention of the wife paying half the bond.
Its amazing how our society has evolved so much but Men get the acknowledgement for everything. And no one says well done to the wife, who also works all day and then comes home to cook and clean and see to the kids on top of all of it.
I guess that my biggest lesson through all of this is acceptance.
And realizing that you can never survive unless you stop worrying about what everyone thinks
So regardless of how tired I am today, I am going to tell you a funny story of some sort
Since the reason that I am tired is because the 2010 World Cup has arrived and I work in the TV industry, and seems that everyone needs a video of some sort.
I therefore figured that I should talk to you about attracting what you wish for.
When we first heard that the World Cup was coming to South Africa. I told one of my colleagues that in 2010 I was going to get an engaged to a soccer player.
I had someone like Fernando Torres in mind you know, like most woman.
Funny Enough I did get engaged in 2010. And my Fiancé plays soccer but he is not famous.
In the same way, I am attracting all the things that I wanted, but not in the way that I imagined.
I am getting married to a great guy that accepts me for who I am. We have understanding and respect. And we have fun together.
We will have a beautiful wedding and a beautiful life,
But I really did not bank on all the issues that would come up along the way.
Like the fact that I will always be referred to as his wife. Example, X’s wife works as a Lawyer/Accountant/Teacher
Once you married its like you lost your identity. You no longer have a name
Well to the Indians anyway.
And if you buy a house, it will be X has bought a house. No mention of the wife paying half the bond.
Its amazing how our society has evolved so much but Men get the acknowledgement for everything. And no one says well done to the wife, who also works all day and then comes home to cook and clean and see to the kids on top of all of it.
I guess that my biggest lesson through all of this is acceptance.
And realizing that you can never survive unless you stop worrying about what everyone thinks
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
How it all began
Once upon a time my parents packed up their belongings and moved away from the Indian Community into a more affluent suburb.
I was 12 years old at the time
15 years later I met an amazing man who asked me to marry him, I said yes.
Except...........
15 years is a long time period of time and I forgot all about Indian Culture. And Muslim Culture.
It is a weird combination at the best of times. I mean, they don't even know which is which anymore.
But let's just say that it had the same effect on me that one might feel whne standing a beautiful frozen pond looking out at the sunset and suddenly the ice cracks and you plunged into ice cold water.
You see I never really ever thought that it would be such a shock to the system. I had seen my family, visited my grandmother in the Indian Community we had once lived in. Attended all family functions etc. So I thought I was in tune with how it all worked. But in truth I was very much out of it.
So this is my story. Of my Indian Muslim Wedding and how I will survive it.
Because even if no one ever reads it, at least it will keep me sane
I was 12 years old at the time
15 years later I met an amazing man who asked me to marry him, I said yes.
Except...........
15 years is a long time period of time and I forgot all about Indian Culture. And Muslim Culture.
It is a weird combination at the best of times. I mean, they don't even know which is which anymore.
But let's just say that it had the same effect on me that one might feel whne standing a beautiful frozen pond looking out at the sunset and suddenly the ice cracks and you plunged into ice cold water.
You see I never really ever thought that it would be such a shock to the system. I had seen my family, visited my grandmother in the Indian Community we had once lived in. Attended all family functions etc. So I thought I was in tune with how it all worked. But in truth I was very much out of it.
So this is my story. Of my Indian Muslim Wedding and how I will survive it.
Because even if no one ever reads it, at least it will keep me sane
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