My Engagement

I always imagined that my formal engagement would be a small, simple and elegant affair.

I pictured a luncheon in our entertainment area that leads out to our beautiful pool area.

It would be intimate and fun.

Fat chance!

I forgot that I was Indian.

My Engagement took place in a hall in the Indian area that I came from.

When my parents first told me that they would like to have it there I panicked. I was afraid that somehow I slipping back into a world that completely foreign to me. Its like suddenly Indianville was taking over my life!

I actually cant say I had much control of my mind and emotions at the time. I told my mum that she could do whatever she wanted and I would give her the freedom to do what she wants.

The reason being was that I was not equipped for this, this was not what I wanted all my life.

I decided that even though it was far away, I would get dressed at home. I didn’t want to get done at someone else’s house. I wanted my hairdresser and a make up artist that I liked.

Tradition dictates that the bride and groom exchange gifts. They are not just gifts though, they are sort of gift baskets that are done all beautifully and set out on boards, with all sorts of decorations and covered in cellophane.

Our mothers agreed to do it at the engagement. I had no involvement in it because my mum asked my aunt to do it.

I was sad that she did not do it for me. She had done all my cousins gifts and made the most beautiful things I had ever seen. My aunt did a good job and I appreciated her hard work but I will always wish my mum had the time to it for me. She is my mother after all, and she is my whole world.

My Dad’s family really helped us out with the planning. They went above and beyond to make it beautiful. Especially my aunt that did the gifts.

While it was so strange to be thrown into Indian Culture again, I was also touched by how amazing my family was.

Looking back I am so glad that my parents did what they did and had such a beautiful event.

It was great fun! I felt like a princess and there is no more pomp that having 100 people there when you receive your engagement ring.

Who needs a candle lit dinner for two! We had the most posh event when we got engaged

Sometimes culture is not so bad

The lead up to the Engagement

The reason that I had to mention Ring Choosing Day and what it meant to me is because the next few weeks were really tough.

The planning of the engagement had commenced.

I gave my mum the freedom to do as she pleases. Because I trust mum and I know that she has great taste.

However it seems that everyone wanted to be involved suddenly and I let it be. I mean, I don’t mind that people want to get involved.

It was just that I so use to it being just me and my mum. Whenever there was any event at our house, we did it together.

It was overwhelming how excited everyone was about me getting engaged.

All this made me realize that no matter how I felt about things, or how I viewed life, or even what I stood for.

To the community I came from this was the biggest moment of my life, and they all wanted to be apart of it.

It’s strange but everyone wants a piece of the excitement.

I also know that I upset certain individuals. I mean how dare I ruin their favourite piece of gossip????

You see, I was 27 years old. And in Indian terms I was no longer even on the shelf. I was in the expiry bin!

And to add to it, I travel around the country with men! Alone!

I even stayed on my own for a while.

In other words, I was not the good muslim girl that decent boys marry.

And here I go and marry a guy from a good family. Who is also oh so handsome (Well to me anyway)

This was definitely a case of them getting egg on their face.

The sad truth was that I couldn’t even enjoy this tiny victory. The reason being that I just found it all so sad.

I don’t even find myself that interesting! And here I was the new topic of conversation and suddenly everyone wanted to know all the details of how we met etc

And here I was wondering how a simple conversation one Sunday night could cause so much to happen.

I suddenly understand why some people elope

Ring Choosing Day

The date for my engagement was set for three weeks after the proposal.

My Fiancé and I were so excited about finally getting engaged.

It was scary and nerve wrecking but so fulfilling.

We had our first major fight in that time, and the best part about that fight was that we managed to work through it, and experienced our first compromise. I realized that this was what marriage is about. You have to learn that it was not about putting one partner’s needs before the other, but meeting each other half way.

And that is about as soppy as it got for those three weeks with the exception of the happiest day of a girls life.

Ring Choosing Day!

It happened the day after our big fight, we had not planned on the fight but we had planned to visit the jeweler.

Being the over organized freak that I am, I chose a design of a ring and would show it to the jeweler. My ring was going to made with diamonds that he inherited from his granddad.

It was probably the best day of that entire period.

Whenever people upset me in those three weeks, I just thought of that day. And it got me through.

I guess that is what life is about, no matter what happens there are always those happy moments that make it all worthwhile